Time flies

Long time no update - I have been in Wales since the last rant and now getting ready to go back to Italy. I am, writing this as a sticking plaster before the next big adventure - driving Peggy the three legged cat to Italy for Christmas.

So what has been happening? Well as I said I have been in Wales enjoying the weather!!!

- We have finished my mum's fire place and other bits and bobs that she has kept adding to the "before you go" list and patched a hole in my sister's ceiling after her bathroom leaked.
(Her dog was frightened on bonfire night , hid under the bath - yes forced her way through the bath panel, and proceeded to chew the pipes. Water built up until - kaboom. Showers in the kitchen).

-My mum is now a WhatsApp queen - look out over Christmas! She has moved on quickly from sending me dodgy pictures of her thumb.

-We filled a skip - bit shocking really that I could fill a skip with rubbish when I only moved house less than three years ago!

 -My old colleagues are in the throws of inspection - weirdest feeling ever as I have not been gone long enough not to care.

-I have been to two reunions. Both were lovely in their own way, one was a works reunion and the other a school reunion.
(The works was the early shift ie arriving for a 5pm start when everyone was sober etc. I left early so missed the drunk karaoke and dodgy dancing. I arrived fashionably late for the school reunion and say with pride that my oldest school friend and I were the only inebriated dancers, actually the only dancers! There are times when I am so relieved not to be on Facebook).

- Discovered that the daughter having the quarter life crisis (no 2) has decided that her spirit animal/insect is - wait for it - a ladybird. I know! Daughter no 3 who is a total hippy even finds this hilarious! Oldest daughter (no1) returned from Thailand - still talking to the boyfriend - result.

-Cooked lunch for another old school mate and her mum who I had not seen in maybe 40 years! (Found out that she ie school mates mum not school mate, had a fling with one one of Tom Jones' security guards many moons ago - back in the day of side burns and flares! It was amazing listening to her tell so many tales. I thought she would be a sweet old lady but she talked the biggest load of smut ever - hysterical and great fun. My father-in-law truned his hearing aid off and sat away from the table - a broken man, and  my mother was left speechless -  a first! Thank you!

-Driving through Pencoed I saw the sign below that I really feel I should share really made me smile and may have been the highlight of my otherwise riveting week!

Now on to the finale for this one - the Alphard!
It has arrived in Southampton (IT IS REAL) and taken to Bristol as promised to be British-ised. Now as you will recall, we planned to drive it over to Italy. Mmmmmmmm. That should have been possible as the customs has been cleared the MOT etc done but now we have to wait for the DVLA to register it- which cannot be done on line, only by post. It will therefore join a queue of paperwork in Swansea until it is spat back out - possibly another month which means we will have to go in my little mito fitting in whatever we can. Believe me I intended to fill Big Al - please see artist impression of how little Al is likely to look tomorrow.

So rhyme time

Who would have thought not working held such stress,
Everything I try to do turns into one big mess.

I've got the cat and my Christmas stuff packed up and ready to go,
Will we get from here to there - I don't flippin know!

 

Limbo

 This will be brief as there is little to tell you -

Well back in Wales and feeling as the title suggests - in limbo. We had to come back to pick up Peggy and the car now called Big Al. Big Al left Yokohama and is en route to Southampton before reaching Bristol where we will meet our car for the first time. We have planned the route back to Italy - going from Dover to Dunkirk then through Belgium etc. Please don't take offence mates but I really cannot wait to go back. This has been really hard and my stress levels have risen - absolutely no idea why, but I am worrying for worrying sake. Ripping my nails off and scratching the back of my head until it is sore - too much information?

Anyway - this is my first genuine lazy afternoon. Dave cannot believe I am not giving him a list of jobs to do - I am scribbling lists in my aptly titled note book

with a glass of wine - trying not to worry about things I have little or no control over (- good luck with the inspection guys I genuinely hope things are ok)

So let me give you a quick update on what has been happening in Welsh Wales.
I had only been here for a couple of days before I overheard a conversation between two women that described how the one had to take her hoops out because another woman wanted to fight her - really!?

The law and order theme continued when my youngest daughters boyfriend was caught speeding and bless him he was so concerned that we nick named him Shaw-shank

Then there was their neighbour - oh my word - he lives in the flat above my daughter and Shaw shank. My daughter called me to ask about giving a statement to the police regarding her neighbour and the fact that the police had been there all day - forensics -  looking for a red handled knife. Say what!?

The most exciting thing in Italy was my neighbour losing his sheep!

(By the way my oldest daughter is in Thailand neutering cats which is why we have the Pegster and my middle daughter is having a 26 year olds life crisis).

Getting ready to go back to Italy

We have the Pegster (remember - the three legged cat) who is making a break for freedom all the time and in keeping with the above law and order theme the back is like a prisoners exercise yard! How we will manage to have her in the car with us for three days goodness knows!

My mother seems to think that my leaving work is so that she can have all the jobs that she has needed doing for the past 30 years done by Dave and me before we go back - the stock starter for 10 is " before you go to Italy can you just......."  Flipping endless! In addition to the not so small odd job list that goes from taxi to builder, I may have made a huge mistake - I have shown her how to use WhatsApp - she is now a particularly dangerous 90 year old. She does not intend giving in to age as she had me renewing her soddin passport - yep you got it " before you go to Italy......"

Whilst here have met up with lots of friends and enjoyed every minute - I am blessed to know so many lovely people - cheesey but true. I met some friends yesterday and was home before 10 - absolutely pooped. What is happening to me?
Before I leave I have two reunions yet to come -not sure I am going to live!I hope to have some good photos - just warning you party revelers.

On the subject of what is happening to me and the world in general? I have been doing a lot of Christmas preparation as I am going to be leaving first week of December so sort of lost a month. In my Christmas prep I came across the advent calendar below - again - what on earth is happening? C'mon - so wrong!

Soooooo. Told you this would be short as it is all a bit - in limbo. I want to get packed up and leave the bungalow in the hands of my daughter and Shaw-shank. Note I have not said trustworthy/capable hands etc. Italy will be home and I can start doing other things - I am thinking maybe cycling holidays - I have no intention of riding a bike by the way.

The plan for this blog is to end on New Years Day.Not much longer to suffer folks. It is so much easier telling the story once!

As promised to Heather I end with a rhyme

Back in Ogmore, by the sea.
The sound of water makes me want to pee.

We are back for just a little while,
Time to plumb, paint and tile.

We are getting  Big Al in a couple of weeks,
Hope he turns up and Dave doesn't freak!

Pranzo Dominica

I have had a couple of complaints about me missing my Sunday afternoon slot again. Well, the clue is in the title. I was being lazy out to lunch with some mates! I was in "Da Sandra" - yes that was really what the restaurant was called. One heck of a drive that we were told was 20 minutes - I don't think so!!!!! Really nice place though, eclectic decor from a hotch potch of plates on the wall to taxidermy. The wine (red) was on the table - like it or lump it, that was all there was on offer. Lots of Italian families celebrating one thing or the other. Lots of clapping. I really wanted something to clap about. Next birthday I am going there for a clap.




The week has been eventful in that Natalie came to visit.

We showed her around and low and behold - ate and drank too much! Her luggage was well over the allowance when she went home mainly due to alcohol and the two huge steaks she took home for dinner (approx a kilo each).

We crammed in a fair bit of sight seeing which I am told must not be shared with her mum as Nat only does one holiday activity per holiday as a norm. The outing that I was most concerned about in relation to Natalie surviving was a hill village called Lucchio. We had friends round for dinner (an experience in itself for poor Nat - 5 Italians and an Irishman) and we got round to the subject of things to see in the area and Rod (the same person who told us Da Sandra was 20 minutes away!) informed us of this amazing hill village.

Well - Nat has severe asthma - we are talking nebuliser, near death stuff, not your average Joe pumps. The drive just kept climbing and the roads just kept getting narrower. Dave being scared of heights started to have beads of sweat show on his brow and his knuckles clutching the steering wheel got whiter. We got to the village - the problem with a village that is built into a mountain and very steep is whatever one climbs down, one has to climb back up. I thought Nat was a gonna. Brought her back to life with - yes folks

fried pizza. Which funnily enough was on TV, "Quatro Ristorante" with Alexandro Borgaze the night Nat left. Just before " Guess my age" a most brutal Italian quiz show that Nat was disturbingly good at.

I must share one little thing with you that Nat will probably go mental with me for and I know she will be reading this! (Hi Nat - love you!). Anyway, she was sat having a natter and told us how she had been staying with some friends and every day had to use her nebuliser, as she did at our house. However, she found out some time later that her friends husband had thought the noise coming from the bedroom was a vibrator! Oh my lord, what size a contraption did he think she was using? Hilarious.

Thank you Nat for taking the time to visit - we thoroughly enjoyed your company

So it came time to travel back to Wales - we have to pick up the Alphard and my daughters three legged cat so that we can take the cat to Italy for Christmas (we are not eating it by the way). So as you can imagine the journey was not straight forward.

It started off well. We got to the airport in good time with our rather heavy food laden baggage going through - no problem. The flight arrived early in Bristol and so it began....

- There was a fire alarm which necessitated Bristol Temple Meads being evacuated
- Then the Severn Tunnel track had to be checked and we had to go to Bristol Parkway
-at Bristol Parkway we were told to change to the delayed Swansea train as it would leave before the Cardiff train we were on
- The Swansea train was then stationary in Parkway for approx 30 minutes before moving to Stoke Gifford Junction where we stopped for a bit before going back to ......... Bristol Parkway
-Eventually we set off - to Swansea via Gloucester to avoid the tunnel
-We were then told that the train would not go on to Swansea but terminate in Cardiff
-Got off in Cardiff and there was Tony Landeg! Who in conversation admitted that the smutty messages sent by Goodman referenced in the previous blog were actually sent to Goodman by Tony!!! What is the world coming to?
-Eventually got to Bridgend. Dave and I thought we would get a bite to eat and a glass of wine (suitcases in tow) before going home. We went to the Corvo Lounge where we were told that they only had chardonnay and that they had half a glass of rioja and that was it. We passed on the wine - partly because the pub had none!!
 

Anyway let me leave you with an image -

Dave unfruitfully looking for a geo cache (with Nat ) on the first iron swing bridge to be built in Italy. What a plonker - he keeps telling me that I have another 30 years of this - if I play me cards right of course!

So rhyme time -

Since leaving work I have been away from Wales,
Let's hope being back does not tip the scales.

Nat visited Italy with an unusual vibrator
God knows where she got it but Ann Summers will hate her!

Three weeks in Italy and three cats to feed
I am afraid of where this story may lead .............

PS cats are doing well

Oh my goodness

You will not believe this - just to finish the cat episode - look who has brought a surviving kitten for food under the cover of the dark -

I left them be and I think they have now waddled off with full bellies. How cool is that?

quick catch up on events

Well, I got to the house in one piece, dealt with the crawlies (well known fact in Italy - if it is coming towards you flying or crawling - IT WANTS TO BITE YOU) but this giving up work malarky is not as I expected! Not so lazy. We have been trying to put right some of the jobs that have been bodged by builders when the house was being made habitable - and I mean just habitable. These have been the things I have put up with or temporarily fixed due to having limited annual leave etc. Now we can get stuck in! Starting with hacking off the kitchen wall to deal with the wet behind it that had been simply covered over what a stink.

Soooooo what have we been up to other than pulling the house apart?
I will summarise events so as to catch up to the present time. Apologies for the length.

-Eaten and drunk far too much - of course. 

- Been eaten alive by sand flies. In Italian they are called pappataci, Dave insists that this translates into little "fuc*ers". It actually translates as  "silent eaters". You cannot hear them or see them coming but by gum you feel it later. Absolute nightmare I look like I have some rare skin disease, they bite you everywhere - I have taken to covering myself in garlic and considering resorting to marmite as they dislike both.

- Purchased 192 bottles of beer ready for Christmas (yes I know). They were half price and Moretti which made them 35p a bottle. 35p I tell you!

-On the subject of Christmas we have bought a Toyota Alphard on line to drive my daughters three legged cat over for Christmas. Peggy
Yep- never seen it - it is still in Japan. Hopefully the import company is reputable and it will arrive in Bristol in the next 4 to 6 weeks. I know what you are thinking and I too had the feeling that I may be on TV featured as the dopey sod who paid two thirds up front for a car that does not exist. Hey fingers crossed it will be fine. .

-Nicely on to cats and at the request of Helen - 2 have adopted me and constantly nag for food. One is Tigre (Tiger - never was there such an inaccurate name for a cat ), he belongs to next door and is referred to as bastardo by his owner and Dave. The other we have named Queenie (which I believe is a female cat ie queen) she is semi-feral and I think mothered Tigres kittens that were then sadly squashed by my neighbours 4x4.  I kid you not.
pictures below-specially for you Helen. The first one is Queenie, she has only a stump for a tail and is blind in one eye. Next is Tigre, keeps trying to spray in the house. I have included a picture of Peggy last. I wonder what they will make of each other as Peggy is hand reared and still very young and has never seen another cat. I am not sure she knows she is one.

- Ooo I saved enough super market stamps to get a free Slavatore cavolfiore  - I now have enough pellets to keep the stufa (pellet burner/stove) going for months but who could resist this little guy.

- Big highlight - no I lie 2 highlights - a wild boar running in front of the car and fried pizza. Seriously good stuff! Get the dough, roll it out fairly thin and just put tomato paste and mozzarella inside. Seal it and deep fry - wow!

-The boar was ginagorous and if that is not a word then it should be. See artists impression with scale below,

-Finally I am currently watching 4 Italians in their 70's pinching my walnuts. Is nothing sacred? "Hey Mrs leave my nuts alone". This brings me back nicely to the bricks taken out of the wall and living the Italian dream - my arse!

 Rhyme time - dedicated to Goodman

Been keeping in touch with a group on WhatsApp,
Some chats amusing, some chatting crap.

Messages pinging, going to and fro,
Organising a reunion, in case you didn't know.

Now I don't consider myself to be a particular prude,
But Goodman Maddocks, your far too flipping rude.

Yes I've done it, outed you by name.
Now go and hang your smutty head as you should be ashamed!

Ta dah
Ciao for now

missed the first Sunday - too lazy

Sooooo - my first ever blog!
I have called it lazy Sunday afternoon as this is about giving up work - which I have to say was an addiction - to start a new chapter in my life. No more Sunday worries about the week to come etc. I reckon I have at most a third of my life left - that is being optimistic.
I made the huge decision to do this and in my naivety agreed to do a blog. What is worse I took the challenge to include a rhyme each time. I decided  to write my blog every Sunday afternoon but missed the planned first one which should have been last Sunday - not the best start. Unlikely to keep to the planned weekly blog...........

My leaving "do" was 28.09.2018 and thank you one and all, those who made it and those who did not! Absolutely overwhelmed. The following day was the Elvis festival in Porthcawl (a brief spectator!) and on the Sunday Soft Cell at the O2 with my husband and three now grown up (ish) daughters. So no time really to dwell. Apparently Soft Cells one off concert - Say hello and wave goodbye. We shall see. My husband the cynic thinks it may be part of a come back.

Life became a little slower starting with the drive home from London to Wales on the Monday followed by an interesting lunch with my father-in-law and auntie Connie on the Tuesday before flying to Italy on Wednesday - this is the bit my friends are waiting for.

OK we get a bus at 2.30 am from Bridgend , arrive at Bristol in good time - bags checked in -no searches - no dramas. NO PLANE! The plane was delayed 4 hours for reasons I will not bore you with, The highlight of the wait was a £3 voucher for refreshments.

When we eventually land in Pisa we have to get the train to Bagni di Lucca and catch a cab to Longoio to get the car (a "R" Reg Fiat Panda called Mario who has a story all of his own that I will share at some point) - you have guessed it - NO CAB! My husband took some grief for that I can tell you.

All was not lost, after many telephone calls Marko came to the rescue, His car may have been broken but his Vespa was not. Off My husband went to get Mario (husband has a name by the way - Dave). I took one for the team and stayed looking after the bags - with a large glass of wine - what a hero.

So the rhyme.

Well I have done it folks, I have finally gone.
Gotta be honest, still feels a bit wrong.

I still have those worries, wanting it all to be fine.
I miss all my work mates - they still feel like mine!

I will blog to keep in touch, this is my first addition
Don't worry about the photo, I have their permission :)

Ta dah!
Little GDPR reference there.